It’s been a very long week. My two-year old son has been sick. It started with a 103+ degree fever that left him lethargic, turned into an upper respiratory cold and ear infection that made him hyper-emotional and all-around uncomfortable in his body. The primary thing that settled him all week was laying cuddled in bed with his neck propped at just the right angle in the crook of my elbow. Of course there were plenty of times where I was jumping up and down trying to find the right remedy to calm the coughing or to appease his endless requests for juice, something to eat, a different kind of juice, something else to eat (because of course nothing tasted good), etc. etc. I’m sure all parents know the kind of week that I am talking about. Exhausting and heartbreaking.
A couple of nights ago, at the end of the day, as I we laid down in his bed together – with my arms around him and his body at just the right degree of uprightness to stop the coughing so he could fall asleep – I let the extreme tiredness begin to creep into my body too. However, my mind wouldn’t stop running around in circles with different things that I could possibly try tonight, or tomorrow, that would help him to feel better and get through it all the faster. I was totally stuck in my mind and that “doing” mode that it’s so easy to get caught in.
As soon as I became aware of where my mind was on auto-pilot, I said “Wait, you know what to do. This is what you DO, little miss healer.” I was immediately brought to the concept that everything is energy. I got out of the thinking loop and went to the place that every cell in my body knows as reality and where my mind, with a lot of training, has learned to trust. I asked myself “What is the way to heal this, energetically?” Well, with LOVE of course.
I instantly accessed that place deep inside my chest – that is so easy for me to find these days, unlike 4 years ago when it was nearly impossible to find that frequency within my body no matter how hard I tried – and began to consciously work on letting it expand outwardly. I visualized it filling up my whole body, begin to spread around my son, and then all through the room. I held that feeling and intention for as long as I could. Whenever my mind started to wander I would bring myself back to that place. Soon, he was sleeping calmly and I crept out of the room.
As we laid down together tonight I immediately brought myself into the love space and felt grateful. While my son was falling asleep, I contemplated how amazing this life is and how what we really are here to do is learn about the healing energy of love. Why is it so healing? Because it is our true source and when we are connected to that there can be nothing amiss. I also let the fleeting thoughts come in about how love can cause so much pain, such as what we experience during a heartbreak (loss of relationship, death of a loved one, etc.). I was immediately aware that this is ultimately healing in it’s own way, and the souls we go through these experiences with are our greatest supporters (as we are theirs) in our spirit’s quest for understanding true love. We experience pain to help us clear that which no longer serves us on our journey, just like a fever helps us to clear a virus that is affecting our physical body. Pain urges us to continue forward in our journey by demanding that we let go and move toward a more brilliant light – never ending steps on the ladder towards the highest love. Experiencing darkness so we can truly see the light.
When my son uttered “mommy love you” as he drifted off to sleep I felt a surge in that energetic space that I was holding us in and immediately felt validated. Perhaps I’m doing something right on this current journey that I’m on – otherwise known as the great love lesson called mommyhood. Happy Mother’s Day to me!
Stacia, The Meditating Mama, originally wrote this blog in May 2010. If you repost this message, or any portion thereof, please give credit to Stacia Synnestvedt, www.themeditatingmama.com.